In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize