Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
