this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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