just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I came so hard my ears popped.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
