It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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