dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
