btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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