And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you