Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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