Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
