Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
