there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
