I feel great
I just peed on a car
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize