i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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