It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
