I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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