what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
