Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
