haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
what day is it and did you see me today?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
