im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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