Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
