Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
