she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
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he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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