Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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