Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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