Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
