Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
