there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
