Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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