so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
