i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
