I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think people are normalizing furries
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
