I think I won the penis lottery.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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