he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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