R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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