Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
