Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
