I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
