You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
