Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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