Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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