Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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