you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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