Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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