just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm just crazy horny about you
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
