My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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