his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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