Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
