dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
