I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
