my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
