This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
