I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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