Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
